Bitter is the new black...

SO I am 10 days in this New Year...and I needed to make a decision with Lon. I just had to end things...for his sake and mine. I woke up Wednesday morning and had a long talk with God. I told him I needed clarity about Lon, and then I asked to just hear from Hubbell (yes, I am a weirdo...but I just needed to see if my heart was still working...and I hadn't completely turned into the Tin man...bc I haven't felt that flutter in a really long time)

Well, sure enough...my prayer was on a first class express delivery...because when I arrived at work I had a text message from my mom that read "I ran into Hubbell at Starbucks today" Hold on...let me throw up real quick...take a deep breath... and I calmly responded "Shut the front door" Keep in mind my mom has a very deep love/hate for Hubbell, and she has not seen him since we all went to dinner September 29th 2011. They were very close, but he treated me kind of like...um garbage. So she said that he was super nervous, and would barely look her in her eyes...what a scared little bitch poor guy. So...I just knew a text was coming...and sure enough he says..."I saw your mom at Starbucks..........." DUH! I know...she texted me probably as your were walking away...but I responded "Too funny!" He responds "I didn't just see her...we talked" He has got to know she told me...but I responded anyway..."She told me!" and he said "Ya :(" Don't give me that frown...you don't have the right to frown. P.S. I hope you burn your tongue on your Starbucks. Bitter much? Naw....I never responded.

But that little bit of conversation allowed me to feel that I am
A. Not the tin man
B. I am bitter
C. I needed to end things with Lon...because he just does not make me gitty and excited-- like I know that I can be in a relationship.

So. I went over to his house after work (BC I could literally throw a rock at his house) and we had a long talk about everything. I truly believe that honesty is the best policy in a situation like ours--because if not it will drag out. I learned that the sandwich effect is the way to approach any situation, letting somone know bad news.
1. Tell them why you are there--but tell them all positive things.
    I told Lon that I loved everything about him. He was sweet, kind, good looking, took care of me, loved me for me, etc.

2. Tell them the bad news
    I told Lon that we were lacking the "it" factor of a relationship--and for whatever reason, my full heart is not in this.

3. Provide more good news
    I told him that we have to trust that everything happens for a reason, and that some real time a part can only do us good. Maybe I will realize I am crazy about him--and can't live without him? Or maybe we will meet other people, that we were meant to be with. But we had to trust this was the best thing for us.

See...the sandwich effect. It always worked good with the parents of the students I was teaching... Your child is such a joy in class, but unfortunately he may have to repeat the second grade--he still cannot read..or write his name, But, I just know that he would make a great comedian one day, he is the class clown! Keeps us all laughing! Parents forget you're basically telling them their child is failing...because they are focusing on how the had such a funny kid! Smart advice.

But, I am going to try and stay strong these next few weeks--and keep telling myself something better is around the corner. Being alone isn't always bad. I would rather wait for the best, than settle on something that I know isn't. Although sometimes it is hard to deal with the single life-- when many of my friends are in relationships...But, in my tin man heart--I know the best is yet to come...as for now, I'll be a shining single.