New Year: New Me. Good riddance: Sad Goodbye

2013. I can feel it. It is going to be a great year. The greatest advice I have seen (on facebook) this year, that I can relate to would be this: Don't go into the new year holding a grudge from last year. Leave the hurts and disappointments behind. -Joel Osteen.

So, with that...I want to forgive Hubbell...and Marley...and say good riddance to both of them. This is a new year, and I don't need my past to creep in 2013. I want to leave it ALL in 2012. So, hopefully this year, we won't hear FROM Hubbell...we may hear ABOUT him...hopefully Marley and him will work out...and I will meet the man of my dreams. I'm thinking this is my year.

I am going to begin the New Year drama, stress, boyfriend and wine free. haha...That was a good one. But..really, I brought in my new year with all of my closest single girlfriends...and it was absolutely perfect. We payed 100 dollars bringing in 2013 with Yaht Rock and a beautiful Atlanta View at Park Tavern with thousands of our closest friends! It was the greatest NYE I have had in a while. Last year, I bought Zac Brown Band tickets for Hubbell and I...and he broke up with me (for the second time) right before...so I brought a good guy friend, and ended up sharing a very awkward and un-wanted kiss at midnight. So...I was really looking forward to a night with my best friends: Twin (the other me), Samantha, Crazy (she just is), and Charlotte. Miranda spent the night with her boyfriend, we'll call OCD (explains him perfectly). It was a perfect night. I made some gay best friends, met some new friends, and flirted my night away...until twin decided it was a good time to lay on the floor until we could find a taxi to go home. I guess when someone is on the floor it means it was a successful night...said no one ever...but we still had a blast...and both twin and I brought the new year in with NO NEW YEARS KISS! I wasn't looking for a random make-out with some drunk frat douche guy...and I didn't! GO CARRIE!!

And I am sure you are wondering about Lon...and why I wasn't with him. Well, Lon went out with some of his friends in Buckhead. Oh Lon. What is a girl to do? Here is where I must start 2013 off right. He is so perfect to me. He takes care of me, my friends, my family...he takes me on dates, he loves showing me off, he has such a drive (he is in pharmacy school), he loves the Lord...helloooo, earth to CARRIE. He is perfect. On paper. Why does he not give me that same feeling Hubbell did? It's like I want to want him so bad...and be with him, because I have never been treated so well...but he just doesn't give me butterflies. Like, I think I got into this because I was lonely after Hubbell...and absolutely loved the attention. I couldn't believe someone was this crazy about ME?...and I do think that God uses people in your life to show you what you what you are worth...and Lon has done that for me...but I know that there is just something missing...and I don't think that I will be able to give him everything that he deserves, and I think that I would be settling on a feeling that I know I can feel with someone else.


So. Tonight, Lon and I are talking. And I just don't know how I am going to do this...I really don't. I am sick over it, because I feel like I finally found a good one..and I'm scared I won't find someone that is going to treat me this well. BUT he just doesn't make my stomach turn or heart jump....and I love so hard...so I know the desires of my heart, and I know that I need that in there person I am going to spend the rest of my life with. My mom tells me you always want someone to love you more, but don't settle for anything less than butterflies. So, to start my new year off right, I think I am going to take some time to myself, and start my new year off single...if I can actually let him go.